Recently guided to write MORE – sharing the stories and seeing where it goes…
In September 2014 it will be 4 years since I made a comitment to a 4 year journey of hounouring and deepening of my own personl connection to Spirit – and to the sense I hold of Source itself. The relationship I hold with “it”. I wanted to surrender – to surrender more deeply into my own healing, and to answer to whatever “work” it was that I felt Spirit and Source – life itself – were calling me towards. “Thy will be my will be done through me” was very much the mantra running through me – and it had been doing so for some time. It wasn’t the first time that this particular mantra was running. Little did I know of where this particular 4 year commitment would take me. If I had, I don’t know if I would have had the courage to begin. And I’m not quite there yet… It’s only July – a couple more months to go yet.
I have done similar work before, surrendering – wether through a sweat lodge, or an intuition led road trip, or a few weeks of committed journeying work. Or, exploring that sense of connection, leaping in at the deep end, and just seeing where the exploration and learning took me…. In my early 20’s I had no other commitments and wondered what it would be like to live life as though I was within “the Celestine Prophecy”. It was such an adventure of deep joy and connection to something beyond me, an awareness of energy and soul that brought me such great learning – and a depth into my own life and being which I am still discovering words to express. This adventure has never truly ended, but only began moving to different levels. In a sense, I have never fully returned from it. Sometimes however, I have allowed myself to forget, to get caught up in the human drama game – because this was where the learning was at that moment in time.
The commitment I made in 2010 is different, although a continuation of the same journey. It was linked to guidance I had received around shamanic practises, and earth connections. There was and is a depth to it, a seriousness and at the same time, such a deep joy as I confront depths of healing within myself that previous work has only lightly touched on. This time, I wasn’t the fool, walking blindly off the edge of a cliff into deeper connection, focussed on the stars and beyond, with no understanding of the journey into deeper connection within self and Spirit. I had been journeying for some time and I believed I had some idea of where this might take me – and the power of setting such an intention.
Months short of that “deadline” – I find myself in an adventure I never truly expected – commited relationship with a partner who lives from his own deepest integrity, dog, picket fence, car and house to be dusted, and a beautiful 6week old child. Part of the intention I set in 2010, was about sacred relationship – discovering and exploring this, whatever it meant, but especially with regard to my own Sacred Relationship with the Divine, and the Earth beneath my feet, and how this manifests in my physical day to day. At the time I envisioned from my piscean rosy spectacle self a stronger connection with the Divine, and possibly even a gentle, loving relationship, with a partner, gardens and permaculture projects. The reality is, all my relationships are sacred and come from my sense of connection to the Divine. They are powerful, deep, messy, juicy, joyous, challenging – and cause me to ask myself daily, “How is my sense of the Divine made manifest into this?” Sometimes that is a cry of desperation, sometimes a cry of sheer joy and bliss… And the gardens are a tangled tumbled growth of unknown plants, only some in the “right” place. Life is magical. When I can allow it to be. At the same time, in surrendering into a growing depth of spirituality, I come to understand more deeply the process of manifestation – and surrender. In manifestation of my greatest dreams and desires, I have to face my deepest fear and human dramas, and move beyond them. In doing this, I begin to loose “My will” and discover “thy will” as my will – and how aligned my own deepest joy truly is with the sense of Divine I hold. In opening to the sense of “Thy Will”, I find the importance of holding “my will” – and aligning the two. And in doing this, I find I begin to marvel at the miracle of creation which is unfolding daily all around us, and the sense I have of the possible futures ahead.
2014/08/01 Posted by Morag
A suggestion: Scroll through, read what jumps out at you, and leave the rest. This simple practise still surprises me with the insights I gain.....